Recently I’ve gone through an epiphany of how God’s perfect timing works, regardless of my human ignorance.
Several years ago I worked a job I loved in a hospital, with good benefits, decent wages, and good co-workers. About two years into the job I was hit with three major life crises all at once:
1. My husband was suffering from the aftermath of a severe concussion
2. My teenaged son was getting into serious legal trouble with people he wasn’t supposed to be associating with, and
3. I found myself being “burned at the stake” because I actually began to lose faith in the “Christian” sect I was born and raised in. My family had turned their back on me because I decided to leave their sect, and most of my friends did the same (to this day they continue to treat me as spiritual poison; I am dead to them).
Without having a support system these crises began affecting my attitude, my patience, and my judgment in very negative ways. My work life was also becoming seriously affected, as was the relationship between me and my co-workers. I knew I was heading down a slippery slope , and I knew that if I didn’t handle things right I’d mess up my job, my marriage, and my children. I began to cling to God like green on grass. He was the only support I had… and thankfully, He was the best.
In all His mercy God provide me an opportunity to leave my job without serious financial repercussions. I reluctantly took the opportunity; I really didn’t want to leave my job but I also knew that if I didn’t I would probably end up getting fired anyway with the way things were going. So I put in a month’s notice and quit.
Thank you God, as I needed the time to focus on resolving those issues that were crushing me.
About a year later, when things started coming back together I tried to re-apply for my old job. Unfortunately, my manager must have put something disparaging in my employee record because the recruiter I spoke to was acting very elusive about hiring me even though I knew for a fact the job was open. By this time I had already been working another job, so I was able to “suck it up” and waited another year to try to apply to the old job again; this second attempt had the same basic result. Apparently, I had burned my bridges without realizing it. Eeesh.
I faced reality and accepted the situation for what it was and continued with the job I was already working, even though I wasn’t all that fond of it.
A couple of years later a friend of mine was hired at that hospital I used to work at, though on a different floor. After she had worked there a while she started asking me why I didn’t re-apply there again. I gave her a brief rundown of how things went and explained that I ruined any chance of ever getting rehired. I wasn’t going to fool myself on this.
She didn’t mention it anymore until one day, last year, when I lost my job. The short version: I took a moral stand at work (in advocating for a patient’s safety), which made the wrong person look bad, and suddenly I wasn’t needed at my job anymore. It happened so fast it made my head spin — and yet somehow I inherently knew that, even though God didn’t ordain this to happen, He still allowed this to happen, though I didn’t know why at the time. So I had to get another job ASAP, and ended up working part time, minimum wage as a bottle clerk in a grocery store;I figured it was better having a low paycheck rather than no paycheck. I decided to work the job for at least six months in order to get a good reference and to have time to decide what to do next. I was mulling over whether I wanted to continue working in health care or maybe try doing something else. I prayed to God for guidance: Should I remain a Certified Nursing Assistant (“CNA“) or should I pursue a different career path? I prayed constantly, and patiently waited for God’s answer (after all, I had at least six months before I needed to make a real decision anyway).
During this time my friend kept bugging me to re-apply at the hospital. I kept trying to make her understand how futile it was, but finally, after eight months at the grocery store, I applied for the job just to shut her up. I still wasn’t so sure I wanted to get back into CNA work (even though I had done it for the past ten years), and I was still waiting for God to direct me on what to do with my life. I submitted the application, knowing it was a complete waste of time, and never thought about it again.
Several weeks later THEY CALLED ME BACK FOR AN INTERVIEW! In a whirlwind I was interviewed, hired, and oriented to the old floor I used to work on — I recognized God’s fingerprints all over this one! Not only did He restore the “bridges” I burned, but He also gave me the answer to my career question: I am absolutely supposed to continue as a CNA.
My first few days back on the job I was still trying to digest the fact that I was back working at the job I screwed up so many years before ! And God did me even better: This time around I was working “per diem”, which meant a higher wage, the ability to set my own schedule, and my choice of shift to work. Praise God!
Once the initial shock of being whirl-winded back into my old job wore off I realized how much it all made sense: It was a job I loved, and God knew that. But I had to leave it in order to get my family life back in order, and God knew THAT. And…even though I thought I was ready to go back to it years earlier, apparently God knew better than I did (no surprise!) and held me off from the job for seven years before giving it back to me. During that seven year period He guided me through the major issues: He taught me how to help my husband through his health issues (hubby has been successfully employed for some time now), He taught me how to use “tough love” to restore my son (who is now a responsible working married father), and, unbeknownst to me, God worked on the situation at my old job so that I wouldn’t have friction with my old co-workers.
And, once He decided that everything was the way it needed to be He restored me to that old job that I never wanted to leave in the first place!
Yes, even though my plan and my timing was seriously defective, God had His own plan that I simply did not see at the time.
Thank you God for pulling me through even when I didn’t know that You were doing it! Thank you for making me wait, even though I didn’t know what I was waiting for all that time. Thank you for not letting my impatience and reluctance stymie your perfect plan.
Lesson learned: God’s plan is always better than my plan….even when I don’t understand it at the time.